Is Your Friend The One Commenting Most on Your Posts?

The tech age is a fickle thing. All of a sudden everyone can see everything you are doing in your life. Through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler, Reddit, Pinterest, and a whole slew of other things, the internet, and social media opens up the world like an open book. So, when you are constantly being barraged with likes and follows and comments, especially by the same person over and over again, does this mean they are your friend?

This is a complicated question, no doubt. Because clearly that person cares about your posts (most likely), but what if they just go through and like literally every single post that pops up in their feed? Then that probably doesn’t make them much of a friend. Of course, it is hard to determine if this has actually happened or not. If they take the time to comment though, that means they are actually paying attention.

Here are some tips for determining if people who comment the most on your social media are actually your friends:

1. Do you ever have a person to person conversation with them?

This is huge. Friendship cannot just be determined by the number of likes or comments individual leaves. Getting on the phone and talking to someone seems to be a lost art, but even texting or personal messaging within a social media app counts. What matters is that your main form of communication is not through a post you shared.

2. Do they leave meaningful comments?

Say you see this person at school, you talk, but aren’t really in the same ‘group.’ Maybe you have some classes together and interact during them, but really don’t do much outside of school itself. However, they start leaving meaningful comments on your social media posts. Not just things like ‘cool’ or ‘you look great.’ Those are too generic. It should be something personal and specific to the post. Say you had a family member graduate from college, a generic comment would be ‘congrats.’ A meaningful comment would be something to the effect of: Wow, I remember when he/she was in school with us, man how time flies, I hope him/her the best in their post-grad life. You get my gist. These meaningful comments definitely mean the individual cares even if you aren’t day to day, always texting each other, never without each other best friends.

3. Do you actually know who they are?

When it comes to social media, your reach can grow extremely fast. I mean you have a friend, then you friend all of their friends and then you get connected to more friends and your network just keeps expanding. If someone is liking or commenting on your posts a lot, but the only thing you know about them is that they go to your school two grades above you and dated so and so for one day which ended in a dramatic break up and now the whole school is talking about it, then they probably aren’t your friend. This swings back to the ever having a person to person conversation with them. Even if you have talked to them like once, that doesn’t really mean much.

4. How do you feel?

Ultimately whether you consider someone a friend comes down to how you feel. Do you feel connected and close with them? Do they have a positive impact on your life?

Maybe by reading this article you have realized that someone in your life really wouldn’t be considered a friend. Maybe you are ok with that. Maybe you want them to be a friend. If the latter is true, then reach out to them. In a real human way like in person or a personal message. Don’t keep assuming friendship via social media. It will keep going around in circles until you DO SOMETHING.

Nothing hurts a friendship more than lack of communication, and, many people forget that social media interactions (unless directly messaging) is NOT a form of communication. Develop your friendship through meaningful comments, personal conversations, and caring about the person in general.

Though social media really blurs the lines between friendship, acquaintance, and stranger (who you have heard of technically but not really). Your level of personal interaction and caring is what really will define a friendship, not the number of likes or comments on your posts. Trust me on this one. Of course, keep up with your social media however you would like, just don’t let a number define a friendship. And visa versa, if a close friend of yours is not constantly on social media or not very active on it, don’t be offended, it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

Remember, the most important determining factor of friendship is how you feel. One of the amazing advantages to the internet is you can have friends worldwide. You don’t have to be face to face to be friends, but you do have to interact on more than likes and follows.

Enjoy your friendships, you deserve them. And be sure to have fun, care for other people, and be safe!

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